But can a beagle do this?

As many of you know, an adorable beagle, Uno, won The Westminster Dog Show.  Westminster is the creme de la creme of dog shows.  Labs never win Westminster.  We have our theories about why this happens:

• Labs are way too focused on the thousands of spectators, all the left over liver bits on the floor, and meeting the other dogs.  They don't act snotty and they don't have attitude.  They don't have soaring rhetoric or promise change, hope, or lower taxes.
• Labs require absolutely no blow dryers, no shampoo, no touch-up, therefore the grooming lobby at Westminster has it "out" for labs.  It is a vast groomer conspiracy.
• Ok, maybe it is the silly thing.  If Sage were in Westminster she would do her "walk around the ring" demonstrating "three legged dog."  (Three Legged Dog has a high degree of difficulty.  It is a trick perfected by Sage where she puts one leg over the leash, so essentially, she is walking on three legs with her 4th leg in a leash-sling.)  Or, as you can see, Murphy would want to show off her aptitude for wearing whatever I put on her head.  Not elegant.  Doesn't lend itself to tuxes and evening gowns.  I mean, look at the picture.  A formal name like: McDonald's Joy Murphy's Rules JD, MF, PhD (oh wait, wrong acronyms) just doesn't work for labs.  Plus, they don't even have a talent segment of Westminster where a lab could really show-off.  I mean, "three legged dog" would bring down the house.
• Aside from the silly thing, there is the "frankly, I don't give a damn" thing.  Maybe it's not as forceful as Rhett's line, but really, labs don't care about awards, fallderall, much less having someone flap their ears over their eyes just to check their neck.  Their attitude is: "come on, we're all dogs here, let's find the food and make a break for the Coffee Shop on Union Square where we can snuggle up with models and celebrities."
• Yes, it's true, there is the idea that since labs are one step ahead of humans in the evolution process (or if you happen to be a creationist, labs are next to God), therefore competing in some beauty contest is just beneath them.  But they really are way too nice to say anything, so they just "go along."

One more year, one more Westminster, one more time when labs don't even get into the final cut of the sporting group.  I am beginning to feel like a Chicago Cubs fan (or these days, a Seattle Mariners fan).  But the thing is, I would rather be owned by a lab.  Especially  one with a bicycle helmet on her head!

Murphy's day.  And, Happy Valentines Day!