What's Ahead

As I said, it's time for a lot of thought.  Who knows what is ahead...

Murphy's day.

My Mother's Birthday

Today is my mother's birthday.

Quiet Times

It's so quiet.  I am pensive, thinking about the next times in my life, the next journeys.  I feel as if, almost, but not quite, a journey with my parents has ended.  My life was all about them for so many years, and now, now what?

It's quiet.

Murphy's day.

It Seems Real

My brother would call my mother and regale her with stories about his grandchildren.  I would call, check on her before bed, and tell her some funny story about the dogs.  The longer she has been gone, the more real it seems.

And now that a week has gone by since Dad died and as I begin to get ready for their memorial, it seems all so more real.

My daily life hasn't changed that much, (other than not having my daily visits with my parents) but, my whole universe has changed.

Murphy's day.

Everywhere I Turn

Annie reminds me so much of Murphy.  Everyday I see more and more Murphy in her.

And so it was (and still is) this past week.  Everywhere I turned I saw my parents: a pitcher my Mom gave to me, all the work Dad and I did on the house, cards I saved that Mom gave me...

Everywhere I turn, there they are.

Murphy's day.

Joy Cometh in the Morning

It's from a Psalm.  "Joy cometh in the morning."

Murphy's day.

The Blind Side

Losing parents is like losing the best offensive lineman in football.  You know, someone who can protect your blind side.  Parents have your back.  They will defend you no matter what.  Protect you.  Enable you to get up, dust off your butt, and move on.

Losing my parents makes me feel so exposed.  I wonder who will protect my blind side, who will watch my back...

Sage?

Murphy's day.

Sometimes It's Best...

Sometimes it's best to just sit (or lay down) and be quiet.  To let the storms roll through.  To find places to stay warm and dry while the thunder and lightning pass through.

Sometimes it's best...

My days are filled, now, with small details.  Calling Social Security (man, have they ever perfected "hold"), meeting with funeral "directors," trying to locate pictures of Mom and Dad.  And ducking from the storms.

Murphy's day.

Go Outside

Both of my parents were urbane and sophisticated people.  They gave me the gifts of enjoying modern art, dance, theatre, the symphony.  They owned "Architectural Digest" type homes, decorated with beautiful furniture.  They dressed in fashion designer clothes.

Yet, when I was growing up, every Saturday morning my father would wake me, lead me into the kitchen, help me get on my long underwear that he had warmed next to the heat vent, and we would go to "the farm."  He would ranch cattle with his brother and brother-in-law while the cousins would roam over 200 acres.

And as I got older, my father encouraged me to continue being outside.  He bought me backpacks, my REI membership (back when that was actually an outdoor store), gave me climbing lessons for my 16th birthday, gave me a trip down the Green River for my 35th birthday, bought me my first fly fishing rod, and listened to me go on and on about the minute details of soil horizons.

I am sure sometimes they scratched their heads and wondered where they went wrong.  I am not urbane and sophisticated (even though I still have a passion for art and classical music).  But my parents did tell me to "go outside!"

Murphy's day.

The World Went Silent

Early Saturday morning I got a call.  My father died.  Not unexpectedly, but, when is losing someone you love expected?  The thing about life is that we always hope.  You know hope. It's not a slogan, but a belief.  And we, we humans, always want to believe life will get better.  So it is with me.  I had hope Dad would heal, that he would show the tenacity I knew.  And he did, for many months.  But he finally decided, I think, that he wanted to be with Mom, with his beloved sister, his adored brother, his parents...

My father, who I will write about a lot this week, was a remarkable man.  Graduating from law school when he was 65.  Running several successful businesses before that, the go-to guy when my roof leaked, my house needed re-painting, or when I needed to learn how to ride a bike.  He raised cattle, boxed groceries, fought in a war, married the love-of-his-life, drew cartoons, coached football, re-did several homes, and always, everyday, told me he loved me.

My world went silent on Saturday morning.

Murphy's day.

Failed Retriever

Murphy could spend hours, days, even weeks, chasing a tennis ball.  And she always returned it to hand.

Sage has never bothered.

But Annie, who has good retriever pedigree (as in her father was a hunting dog), loves the chase, hates the retrieve.

For Annie, it's all about ownership.

Murphy's day.

Taxes

When I explained to Annie that today millions of Americans file a tax return, she decided it was time to head for the hills.

Murphy's day.

Spring Fever

There is nothing better during a spat of spring fever than to play tug o' war with a stick.

Nothing.

Or at least that is what the girls tell me.

Murphy's day.

Sage Getting Stronger

On Sunday Sage ran 4 miles, much of it up hill.  She ran three on Saturday.  Of course, I don't let her run on pavement anymore, but she seems to be getting stronger.  I think it helps that she has an annoying little sister who keeps instigating wrestling matches.

It's been almost two years since her surgery.  I think she is doing well.

Phew.

Murphy's day.

HInts of Spring

FInally, sun.  A day in the garden: planting some herbs, stringing up the berries, watching Annie and Sage play.  Annie's newest thing?  Stealing the plastic containers the plants came in.  She thinks she is getting away with something!

Murphy's day.

Looking Back on the Year

I've said this way too many times, but it has been a very long long year, maybe longer.  We're all tired.

Murphy's day.

Spring?

We've has crazy weather recently.  Rain, wind, lots of snow in the mountains.  And of course, the dogs don't mind one bit.  The wilder, the better for labs!  They really don't understand dogs in raincoats.

Murphy's day.

I Remember Murphy

I have a picture of Murphy and me, similar to this.  Murphy.  And here is Sage (and a tish of Annie).  Sage, so stoic.  In the snow with her bad knee, post-holing but still working her way up the mountain.

I am so proud of Sage, how well she has recovered, how she "cares for her knee."  She has Murphy's heart, that is for sure.

Murphy's day.

Little Sisters

My brother will tell you that little sisters are a pain.  Brooke, any comment here?  Just when you're on a roll, enjoying the moment, bam, in comes the little sister.  For me with my brother it was always stealing his favorite stuffed monkey, or fooling around with his Matchbox cars.  Annie?  Well, she just loves to wrestle.  Sage could take her in two seconds, but she just rolls with the punches...

I probably haven't changed.  Still the obnoxious little sister.  But I sure do love my brother, even though I constantly needle him.  And Sage, well, Sage if she doesn't know where Annie is, she is all about stopping, waiting, and making sure the kid sister is with the herd.

I keep telling Sage that Annie is Murphy's revenge.  Sage was just as relentless to Murphy.

Murphy's day.

Annie's Easter Egg Hunt

After visiting my father, we made a mad dash for Snoqualmie Pass, snowshoes in tow.  We hadn't been out in well over a year.  The girls loved it!  Sage rolled, wiggled, and leapt, yes, leapt in the air.  But Annie, Annie, it was a whole other deal.  From the moment she exploded out of the car she was in her element.

And at the end (we parked in a ski area parking lot) she even found her idea of an Easter egg.  Someone had thrown out a plastic Gatorade bottle.  Annie was in heaven with her new toy...

Sometimes it's the simple things.

Murphy's day.

Adverse Possession

Annie's latest caper is to adversely possess as much real estate on my bed as she can.

It's not pretty.

Murphy's day.

Annie's April Fool

Annie's favorite joke is to suck me into playing with her, then running off with the toy.

A perennial April Fools Joke.

Murphy's day