Magical Living

I am trained as a scientist and lawyer. Both "professions" are drawn to logic and rationality.

But when it comes to decisions by humans or labs about the most serious of matters, like life and death, there are many things that are inexplicable, that defy logic and science.

On the day before Murphy died, she had a marvelous day. Going for a long walk up through fields and the aspen stands. She sat in the sun, absorbing a brisk fall day. She got on my lap, asking for kisses and just to be held. The next day she didn't want to eat and clearly was asking for my help.

I watch my father struggle in that same inexplicable place. He lost the love of his life just three months ago, and even though what has hospitalized him can be "fixed," and he seems engaged when I am with him, he simply doesn't want to take too much nourishment. There seems to be no explanation, other than, I feel, the magic of life.

If only I could walk with him in the fields and through the aspen stand. Sit together in the fading autumn sun, sharing memories of our times at the farm or restoring my house.

I told Murphy that I would always love her. To care for her no matter what. My father told me stories of doing the same thing for me. Holding me through the night as I cried with the measles or telling me the day I came home from the hospital that he would take care of me no matter what. And he has and does.

There are magical times in life. Often they are hard. But in that difficulty, there is love. Always love.

Murphy's day.