Knowing When

As I approach the anniversary of Murphy's death I've been thinking a lot about knowing when. When did I know it was time for Murph?

On the day before she died she, like so many others, rallied. But for a lab, it's actually hard to describe it as a rally, it's more that she just did what she does: went for a long walk in a field, sat in the sun, enjoyed being hugged, put her head on my lap. On the drive home from eastern Washington, I sensed she was more than just tired, she was ready to let go.

The next morning I was sure of it. She didn't want food, but took a small bite from my hand, as if to make me feel better. She took one look at me and I knew...

It's the hardest thing. Even a year later, to think about. Knowing when.

Murphy's day.