My fellow Americans. I am here today to share with you the State of Murphy's World. And I can say, without reservation, that Murphy's World is strong.Last year, she engaged in diplomacy by traveling to Idaho, Wyoming, Montana in search of trout and mountains. Along the way she made new friends, further expanding Murphy's Empire.
In addition to her foreign state visits, she conducted numerous domestic tours, including the Yakima watershed, Icicle Creek, Nahahum Canyon, the Methow, and Cutthroat Lake.
Murphy continued her long standing practice of mooching as much human food as possible, emphasizing that her begging was finally validated by a National Science Foundation grant which concluded that the dog food crisis was brought on by Large Corporate Interests trying to make a fast buck on cheap ingredients from suspect foreign sources. Murphy hypothosized that steak, medium rare, originated from free range cattle could adequately substitute for the dry dog food kibble. In fact, in her opinion, there is no need to wait for an emergency to implement that program. Think of the cattle ranchers who will thank her and contribute money to her campaign coffers.
It is Murphy's belief that all yellow labs 14 and older should be entitled to toast in the morning, hamburger anytime, and turkey chew-things twice a day. The cost to providers should be minimal given savings from not having to construct a sound barrier for the neighbors due to unhappy barking dog.
Last, a program to regulate the climate should be implemented immediately. Snow every day during the winter, then immediately move into summer with warm days allowing Murphy to lounge around in the garden. We can do this! We are innovative people and this is a program that will show the world how much we care about Murphy!
It has been a good year. And we look forward to an even better year. And remember, don't vote for anyone who isn't owned by a Yellow lab.
Murphy's day (mercifully shorter than GW Bush and his State of the Union)
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